Dolphins speed past the Patriots, 24-17

That beep-beep you heard last night was the Road Runner, otherwise known as the Dolphins, speeding past Wile E. Coyote, otherwise known as the Patriots. I would be hard pressed to remember a game in which one team looked so much faster than the other. Note I didn’t say that it was a matter of watching one team dominate  another, or watching one team being so much better. I am talking about one team being so obviously faster and quicker.

It is like playing that old school classic video game Tecmo Bowl and you are playing the Raiders and Bo Jackson. Meanwhile, you are trying to beat them with Hugh Millen at quarterback soft tossing throws to Marv Cook and Michael Timpson.

It was evident the Patriots had to work so much harder for first downs, so much so that they were running quarterback sneaks on 2nd and 1 in the second half. Bill Belichick and Bill O’Brien were taking their first downs where they could get them.

It took two plays for the Patriots to cover as much ground as the Dolphins were doing in one play. Mac Jones averaged 7.5 yards per completion. Tua Tagovailoa averaged 11.8 yards per completion. The disparity was even more dramatic before the fourth quarter.

And it wasn’t like Tua was throwing deep. No, it was simple quick, short slant patterns that the Dolphins’ receivers would catch and scamper for yards after the catch. It wasn’t even the Dolphins’ top two receivers that did the damage against the Patriots' soft defense. It was players like Braxton Berrios, Salvon Ahmed, and River Cracraft who ran past Patriots’ defenders like Myles Bryant, Jabrill Peppers, and Adrian Phillips. Even the Patriots’ speediest defender, Marcus Jones, couldn't keep up with the Dolphins’ receivers, which resulted in him injuring his arm/shoulder desperately diving at the heels of a receiver.

As for the running game, 31-year-old Raheem Mostert averaged almost seven yards per carry, including a 43-yard touchdown run which would have been legit in a flag football league as he ran the whole way untouched. The Dolphins were constantly in 2nd-and-short situations while the Patriots had to convert 3rd-and-7s o more.

The Patriots secondary played soft, fearing that Hill or Waddle would speed past them. The Dolphins had three drives of over ten plays and over five minutes. They had three drives of over 70 yards in the first half. Bend but don’t break? Get out of here with that. Maybe that worked when you had Tom Brady running the offense. Turn this defense loose, Belichick.

For the second straight week, the Patriots fell behind big right out of the gate. Last week, it was 16-0 to the Eagles. This week it was 17-3 to Miami. Is that a result of coaching? Not being prepared?

We haven’t even started talking about the Patriots offense. Again, for the first three quarters it was a struggle to move the ball. Five out of their seven drives in the first three quarters averaged under four yards per play. They had drives of 8 plays for 21 yards, 6 plays for 10 yards, 10 for 35 yards, and 8 plays for 27 yards. Meanwhile the Dolphins, in the first half, had drives of 13 plays for 81 yards, 11 plays for 73 yards, and 11 plays for 61 yards. Those first two drives were their first two drives of the game.

The poster child for how slow the Patriots’ offense is is Ezekiel Elliott. It is obvious to everyone but Bill Belichick that he does not deserve a roster spot, nevermind setting foot on the field. Give me JJ Taylor or, I don’t know, Pierre Strong. Elliott has zero speed and zero explosiveness. He fumbled the first time he touched the ball in his first game, something that was cited as being a positive when the Patriots signed him. I also saw a lot of Rhamondre Stevenson on the field on passing plays, whiffing on blocks. Again, pass blocking was viewed as a strength of Elliott.

Do we even have to talk about JuJu Smith-Schuster, the Patriots’ big acquisition of the offseason? It is obvious that he is damaged goods. The cheap Patriots spent $33 million on a guy who can’t cut and has no straight-line speed. Yet, they continue to try him on wide out screens. It is like watching a sloth on the field.

DeVante Parker, who the Patriots signed to an extension this past offseason, isn’t much faster. It is a good thing he is considered a good 50/50 catcher, because he never gets separation. That was never more evident than on Jones’ only interception, a lob down the right sideline in which Parker found himself out of bounds trying, futilely, to break up the catch by the Dolphins’ Xavien Howard.

Kendrick Bourne looks like he should be fast. He has been targeted more than any other receiver on deep passes, and each and every time he has showed the inability to kick into an extra gear to catch up to deep balls. I am sick of seeing his "aw, shucks" reaction following each miss.

The tight ends have been a strength for the Patriots, but no one would consider Hunter Henry or Mike Gesicki as run after the catch threats. Although Gesicki has come a little better than advertised in that category, but, when it mattered, he couldn’t turn the corner and gain the couple of yards needed to prolong the Patriots’ last possession.

Then you have the quarterback, Mac Jones. Jones showed guts on Sunday, playing behind a porous offensive line. Tackle Calvin Anderson was barely able to put a finger on Andrew Van Ginkel. Jones stood in and took punishment. He, surprisingly, was effective throwing on the run. It didn’t look good, but he completed a touchdown pass to Henry on a scramble to the right. He barely missed a big play when he made an awkward throw running to his left which Mike Gesicki wasn’t fast enough to get to. Do you see a theme here? Jones did have the Patriots' longest run- an 18-yard scamper down the right sideline.

And then you have Jones’ arm. There is just little zip on his passes. Credit to him that he is terrific at throwing to spots. However, a stronger arm could get passes faster to receivers down field allowing them to turn upfield for a few yards, instead of sitting waiting for the pass to get there. Again, look to the last play to Gesicki as a prime example.

As the saying goes, you can’t teach speed. Belichick may be a great coach, and that is arguable right now, but he can't coach speed. Even worse, the fastest, quickest player the Patriots have on offense, Demario Douglas, was benched after fumbling at the end of the first quarter. Elliot wasn’t benched after he fumbled on his first touch last week.

The worst part is this speed problem cannot be rectified during the season. The way you fix the problem is through free agency and, most importantly, the draft. As long as Wile E. Coyote is in charge, nothing is going to change.